Start of Year 7- Got a locker
End of Year 8- Locker Destroyed
Start of Year 9- Decide to get new locker.
Today- Got a new locker.
I suck at organising stuff. It’s taken me two years to get this locker. I asked Mr Taylor for one about a month ago. He told me to see him at the beginning of lunch the next day.
I forgot.
Two days later I went to see him at the start of lunch but he wasn’t there.
Forgot about it again.
Asked him today and he gave me an Callum keys for neighbouring lockers. Unfortunately mine didn’t work. So I went back with a different key. I was excited to see that this one did work so it was with glee that I opened the door and revealed a towel, pair of football boots and an oddly coloured anorak. I consulted Mr Taylor on these and he said that they would have been there for at least three years.
Smells a bit.
But at least I won’t get any more back problems (although demanding back rubs from people can be fun).
The key from my previous locker struck interest with Pete. He’s had an obsession with creating a master-locker key. He has analised and drawn the master key at least a dozen times and has even left his PE kit in his locker on purpose to get a look at it. He wants to edit mine to create his own master key.
Reasons for wanting to create a master key
1. Steal stuff from people’s lockers.
2. See above
Pete’s morals are extreme though. He won’t steal anything. But some people will. And if you’re happy to steal an MP3 Player from a locker you won’t find any problems stealing a key from Pete.
Get a new, safer, hobby. Start a dance off?
What seemed like the whole of the year today parted as they allied with either my lovely friend Sophie or James Woodward, the annoying bastard (non-biased account of course). There must of been about one hundred people huddled around the two watching them argue. When the two finally parted the crowd did likewise. There were two distinctive groups seperated by about a metre of “no-man’s land”. I, being the diplomat I am, immediately saw the solution. A dance off! (Thanks to Dave’s awesome new permalink function you can now view the original dance off post here.)
I put this view forward to a few people but it didn’t seem to catch on. I told Suzi who demanded that I “showed her my moves”. I refused to do this as it was clearly out of context. She then asked for a waltz, to which I obliged. I stopped shortly after as she was laughing at me. She begged me to dance with her some more but alas, my heart was already broken.
1. Baboons have voyeuristic tendencies.
2. Baboons masturbate.
3. Baboons have cross-gender friendships.
4. When baboons are attacked they often take the attacker’s child as a hostage and blackmail for safety.
MOTD: SNAFU - 5:02 pm - 28-11-2005
1 h9 fcukn 133t + cht spk 1 try 2 54 ppl hu use it bt 2 mny ppl do. 39 MSAR sarc 1m +PO BC IBDTSFY + 1>* ud b 404 JDFGT
ooIoo FLOABT
I hate fucking leet and chat speak. I try to ignore people who use it but too many people do. Thank You, my socks are rocked! (sarcastic)
I’m most pissed off because I’ve been doing this stuff for years and I’m better than most of you so you’d be clueless. Just don’t fucking go there.
*middle finger* for lack of a better term.
I love winter. It’s so exciting to see frozen water falling from the sky. There’s nothing like having your face numbed by the cold. It’s great. It started snowing in maths today. Everyone was really excited including me. I thought to myself: “Is there anything better than frozen testicles?” I couldn’t think of anything.
Some of the kids on the way home were catching snowflakes in their little mouths. I felt I was too old to do this, which was a pity as I love drinking rain water and it’s always good having a cold tongue.
The best thing about winter is all the awesome car crashes. Man, I love it when loads of people die because of icy roads. I wonder why that isn’t in the song by Felix Bernard.
Bah humbug.
EDIT: Car crashes are not funny. I am not a fan of car crashes in any way. Ice sucks.
Kayaking - 3:44 pm - 28-11-2005
Very tired.
Splitting headache.
Blocked nose.
Perfect time to spend an hour trying to rotate myself around a plastic boat?
Hell no.
Yesterday I went kayaking. I wasn’t expecting it to be fun and my expectations were not let down. We had to do a thing called an eskimo-roll. This involves flipping your boat over so that your face is in the water. At this point you’ve got to flick your hips, wave your paddle in the perfect direction and shout/gargle “Eskimo, eskimo, perform me your roll.”
The teacher was very kind, he said that I could do it, but I did everything wrong. Harsh but fair I’d say.
I got sent this piece of chain mail…
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, “…that’s her.”
Is that the kind of guy you want? Someone who truly cares about you and doesn’t just want you for sex. Well good idea, send a chain mail that will tell all the guys how to fake it. Idiots…
And by the way:
I woke up this morning at around 3 o clock with an awfully sore throat. I had some throat lozenges in my coat which John was passed out in. I managed to move him enough to get at them. Sweet bliss.
I reawoke at around 8. John had woken up. He was told that all the stuff that had been done to him was the work of Tom Honey. When he pointed out that Honey hadn’t been there he was told that Honey arrived, put make up on him and then left. John didn’t believe this. Glyn was rightfully accused. John was then told about all the other things: having his hair cut, having a 5 pence piece stuffed up his nose and the oranges down his shirt. He was delighted to hear of these events.
Maybe he shouldn’t have drank 22 units…
Last night I had a few people over. John came over at about 1600 after having been drinking for an hour. He was really drunk and bit me three times during a game of Super Smash Bros. Melee. I confiscated his drink much to his distress. We got quite hungry so we went into Bingham and I got a pizza and John got some chips.
At around 1815 Freya and Sarah arrived. John decided he wanted some pizza but I declined on the grounds that he has the opportunity to get his own. Sarah and Freya wanted some pizza too and I was happy to oblige. We talked about how nice the pizza was for a few moments while John moped. Eventually I agreed to give him some. He didn’t even like it.
It wasn’t long before Lauren, Brooke and Grace had arrived. They were shortly followed by Glyn and then Suzi and Sophie. Pete and Callum arrived a few moments afterwards and we had a game of SSBM while people went out for food.
John recieved a phonecall from Brett who was trying to contact me. He asked if he could come over. Brett’s a legend so I agreed.
When Brett, Simon and Perry arrived the whole cast were on stage. Some people decided to go in the pool but the only ones who actually made it in were Suzi, Sarah and Grace. Suzi was kind enough to give me lots of hugs straight after she got out of the pool. She was really cold and wet but I’m sure she meant well.
John went and threw up outside and passed out in the breakfast room. Callum started putting things down his top. At one point he was stuffed with 4 oranges and a paintbrush. Glyn then asked Freya if she had any make-up. Unfortunately for John, the answer to that was affirmative. I popped into to toilet to find Suzi throwing up. That was a pleasant surprise. Sophie was there helping her and I sat with her for a bit. I got a call from Diego at around 2300 asking if he could come. I said that it was too late and that I wasn’t allowed any more people.
After a while Suzi decided she wanted to go upstairs and have a nap. So she did. We accompanied her into my bedroom where we found John passed out on the bed, covered in make-up. Dave was there and the three of us chatted about stuff while Dave spent about 5 minutes putting a glove on John’s hand. Glyn came in and cut John’s hair and put it in his pocket for him to find the next morning.
Suzi woke up and ran into the bathroom. Myself and Sophie followed her into the bathroom where she threw up some more. Sophie decided it would be a good idea to get into the bath sans water. She said that my bath was perfectly designed to have sex in. I had never thought of my bath like this before- the concept was quite strange.
I then got a call from Glyn who was outside. Diego had turned up and brought Tom Collier, Duffy and Burger (?). They wanted to know if they could come in. I said no once more and apologised.
We then went back into my room and I heard the doorbell. I looked out of my window and they were there. I was quite pissed off that Diego had completely ignored what I’d said but I didn’t dwell on it. After about half an hour everyone had left except me, Callum, Glyn, Pete and unconcious John. Callum, Pete and Glyn were cool enough to be blogging so I left them downstairs, pushed John out of the way and went to bed. Callum appeared moments later with his DS, he played that quite quietly for a while and I almost got to sleep. Then Pete and Glyn came upstairs. Glyn pissed around with Pete’s sleeping bag giggling loudly but I managed to sleep through it.
List of People There
Me, Brett, Brooke, Ellerby, Glyn, Grace, John, Lauren, Perry, Pete, Sarah, SFFI, Suzi
I’m with John at the moment. He thought it would be a good idea to start drinking at 1500 today… At first he pissed me off but now I’ve worked out how to piss him off.
Freya is awesome. She is the most interesting person I know. Infact, she is the essence of interestingness: everything that is remotely interesting has a part of Freya in it.
John doesn’t like me saying that and has hit me. Freya is cool. John doesn’t believe me when I say so though so I thought I’d piss him off for a bit.
People are coming over tonight. I’ll blog about it tomorrow.
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