Someone who will not be named said that I should blog more often. Here is the first part of a script I’m working on for drama. Please comment and tell me what you tihnk. Any critisism is welcome.
Scene 1
Entire cast are on stage.
Instructor: So guys! Welcome to our first aerobics class. Woo! You guys will be dancing and prancing like pros by the time I’m finished with you. Woo!
Pause
Right. Well let me introduce myself. I’m Tara, and I’ll be your aerobics teacher for the next… well as long as you want. Woo!
Pause.
So, tell us about yourselves.
Pause.
Starting with… you I think.
Tara points at Amy.
Why are you here?
Amy: Oh, you know. A nice chance to meet new people, hang out with the girls. And the boys.
Amy smiles at Shane. Shane winks in return.
I’ve never tried it before, thought it might be a laugh.
Tara: Right. Ok. That’s good. Sorry, what’s your name?
Amy: Oh, all my friends call me Amy.
Tara: Brilliant, nice to meet you Amy.
Louise interrupts.
Louise: All your friends call you Amy? That’s a funny way of putting it. What does everyone else call you?
Amy: Well… my friends call me Amy and everyone else calls me Amy. So I guess everyone calls me Amy! Except people who don’t know my name. They call me all sorts of things, mainly things like “sexy” and “babe”.
Louise: Bet they do.
Amy: Yeah. They do.
Amy smiles.
Tara: Righto. Good good. Well, what’s your name then?
Louise: Louise.
Tara: Nice to meet you Louise. Tell us about…
Louise interrupts.
Louise: I’d prefer it if you called me Lou.
Tara: Alright, Lou. So… tell us about yourself!
Louise: My name’s Louise. I am 16 years old. I am doing my GCSEs this summer. Next year I will be doing my A Levels. My hobbies include computer programming, computer hacking, computer cracking, computer modding, software design, hardware construction and talking to my pet snake.
Tara: Oh. Pause Do you do any exercise?
Louise: Only mental.
Tara: Pardon?
Louise: I like to think. I like to think a lot.
Tara: Do you really? That’s good. Anything else you’d tell us?
Louise: No.
Tara: Nice to meet you Lou. Who’d like to go next then?
Louise interrupts
Louise: Please like me.
Silence- feels like forever
Tara: Who wants to speak next?
Silence
Tara: Come on, don’t be shy.
Lisa raises arm slightly
Tara: Very brave of you! Shoot!
Tara does an impression of shooting a gun.
Lisa: Erm Pause My name’s Lisa.
Tara: OK, what do you like doing?
Lisa: Erm Pause I used to do a lot of dancing but I stopped a couple of years ago.
Tara: Oh, why’d you do that?
Lisa: Wanted to spend more time with Mike.
Tara: Mike?
Lisa: What? Do you know him?
Tara: No, don’t think so.
Lisa: Oh
Pause- Lisa droops her head. She lifts it
Lisa: I miss Mike.
Silence- Lisa droops head once more.
Tara: Why did you chose to join us then?
Lisa: Something to do. Something better than sitting at home eating marshmallows. I need to stop eating them. I’m getting huge.
Pause- Lisa’s face crumples
Lisa: I’m really fat!
Silence
Tanya: No you’re not. You’re beautiful!
Lisa smiles a weak smile
Lisa: Really?
Tanya: Of course! You’re very beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful: your eyes, ears, hair, your smile.
Silence
Lisa: Thanks 
Tara: So, introduce yourself.
Tanya: My name’s Tanya. I’m in my second year of an Art History degree at the moment. I’m a member of a drama group called the LDA and I do kick-boxing on a Thursday night. I’ve come here…
Louise interrupts
Louise: Hey, we don’t need to know what day you do kick-boxing on mate. Don’t give us your life story. Am I right guys?
Pause
Louise: Idiot.
Silence
Tanya: I’ve come here to meet new people. To be honest with you, I thought this would be “all-girl” but nevermind. Turns to Shane You probably won’t be able to hack it anyway.
Tara: Woo! You prove her wrong Sean!
Shane: Shane.
Tara: You prove her wrong Shane! Let’s get this show on the road. Woo!
Louise: Shut up.
All this is copyright James Ashworth-McLintock. All events and characters are purely fictional, any similarities between the events and characters shown above real-life people or events are purely coincidental.
Don’t forget to comment!
On Friday night I went to a gig in Cropwell Bishop. Getting to Bishop can be slightly tricky, so we all had to rely on getting lifts from our parents. I offered Pete, John and Tom Moreland a lift. The plan was to set off from Bingham and drive the two and a half miles to East Bridgford and pick John and Tom up from John’s house. We would then drive back through Bingham and pick up Pete on the way. We would then continue driving to Cropwell Bishop. Here is a map of the planned route (click to enlarge):
Purple= Journey to East Bridgford
Pink= Journey to Cropwell Bishop
Here is the route we actually took (click to enlarge):
Purple= Journey to East Bridgford
Pink= Journey to Cropwell Bishop
Blue= Road that we went down in two directions
I have marketd points of interest onto the map.
Point 1: The road was closed.
Point 2: The road was closed. There was a diversion sign with an arrow. We followed that.
Point 3: We were slightly confused as to why we’d been travelling for an hour already so we ignored the diversion signs and went down the A46, which we knew led to East Bridgford.
Point 4: We arrive at another closed road. My mum gets out and complains to the workers there. They tell us that there is a “huge hole in the middle of the road”. My mum complains a bit more and one of them agrees to drive through the closed road, with us following him.
Point 5: We have yet to find the “huge hole in the middle of the road”. We have however found a small hole in the pavement, and one in the lay-by.
Pete has by this point been sitting in Bingham in the cold for about an hour. He decided to ask his mum to pick him up.
Point 6: Arrive in East Bridgford. Pick John and Tom up. Decide to go to Cropwell a different way.
Point 7: Arrive at Chequers bar and enjoy the gig.
A long time back, maybe as far back as Year 10, Pete was talking about yoga and meditation. We both agreed that it sounded pretty fun and that we’d like to do it.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Grace, Lauren, Freya and Heather (I may have missed some people out there, if so I apologise) began yoga themselves. Last week Pete decided to join in and also attended the session. He really enjoyed it and asked me if I wanted to come today. The plans that I had with Ellerby had fallen through so I said I would pop along.
I asked my mother if I could go (and more importantly, if she would pay) and she agreed. She said that she had been planning on going but didn’t want to if all my friends would be there. She said that she had bought a yoga mat that I might like to use. I wasn’t too sure about this. I wouldn’t have wanted to turn up with a yoga mat that everyone (except for me) could tell was completely ridiculous. They would all laugh at me. No, I didn’t want to attract any more attention than my charming good looks would anyway.
I rang Pete and asked him what time I should arrive. I also mentioned the mat. He told me that the mat was too short for him last week and that he would advise that I bring it. To make sure that it wasn’t ridiculous-looking I described the measurements to him (1.5m*0.5m). He said that that sounded good.
It started at 8, so I set off at 740, to give myself time to pop in and see Ellerby. I realised upon arriving at Ellerby’s house that I would have to leave immediately if I was to be on time. So I said a hasty hallo and a hasty goodbye and off I trotted.
I met Pete and Grace behind the leisure centre, where they were being photographed by Sarah for her media project. I had my photo taken a few times and then we rushed to reception to pay.
I still needed to get changed so I paid first and rushed to the boys changing rooms. Unfortunately, what used to be the boys changing rooms was now a void, so I went to the gym changing rooms.
I quickly got changed and met Pete and Grace and headed up into the yoga room.
She moved some people around so that we would have room. I lay my mat down and followed her instructions. I wrapped my limbs around each other and juggled my organs at each of her commands. I knew I wasn’t doing it right, as everyone in the room was watching me.
Even when they were facing the opposite direction.
Eventually she looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I had ever done any yoga on my mat. I whimpered and replied in the negative so she shouted at me to burn in hell (or she might have told me to do my exersises on the floor, I can’t quite remember).
I could hear every chuckling at me so I lowered my head in shame.
A few minutes later she told us that she had a treat for us all. I was slightly apprehensive at first, but then I realised that she was only talking about a candle. She lit the candle and switched the lights off.
She gave us a long line of instructions which resulted in me almost falling asleep. Then she turned the lights back on and an hour and a half had passed.
How eery.
When I got out of the changing rooms I went to the vending machine and bought a bar of fruit and nut. To my delight, two bars came out instead of the one I had paid for.
The trip had been a success afterall.
They split up two years ago but it’s looking like they might be getting back together.
She split up with him two years ago for another man called Blaine. So with that the ex-lover left and disappeared for two years. Now he has returned. His stylist, Phillip Bloch has this to say:
““People just get confused when a man is more sensitive, he’s more in touch with his spiritual side, he’s been writing poetry.”
“Well, his jacket is leather…his jeans are torn. He got them in Italy. He’s been backpacking through Tibet.”
Aha, so that’s where he’s been. Tibet.
Who is this reuniting couple you say? Why, Barbie and Ken of course!
Due to growing competition from Bratz, Mattel have decided to restyle Ken and reintroduce him to Barbie. Apparently, “Ken’s revamped his life - mind, body and soul.”
However, Josie Brown (relationship expert) has this to say on the matter:
“Staying together because you can’t afford to live separately, or because you’re not motivated to try things on your own, will eventually mean another split down the road — or many years of regret for having wasted all that time. There’s only one good reason to reunite, and that’s because you have a real soul connection, one where you know that you’re better together than you ever were apart.”
Her husband, also a relationship expert adds this:
“Clearly what’s driving this is reunion is the thought that their sales have slumped, and it’s time to shake up the brand. But just like Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, they’ll soon learn that a lasting relationship is based on love, commitment, trust, and respect — but certainly not money.”
Josie is also worried about Ken’s new look “Before he was buff, but now he’s over the top! His new jawline, washboard abs, that fancy hair and desiger duds — that’s what caught Barbie’s eye again. But after a few months, she’ll wake up to the heartbreak that this guy is still empty inside.”
Her husband Martin agrees: ““What they should be doing now is taking things slow, talking things out, ideally through counseling. I wonder: has Mattel considered a ‘Dr. Phil’ doll?””
It’s Valentines Day on Tuesday, let’s see what happens with the lovely couple.
Hattip: CBS News
Hattip: The Open Press
Hattip: The Mirror
Hattip: The World Hum
Yeah… I’ve been quite silent in the blogosphere recently. Let me recap what I’ve done in the last few weeks:
Drama Coursework.
Wicked. I handed in all my drama coursework today (for the last year and a half) and decided to count the pages. They are all A4 and they total 133! I have written 133 pages of drama coursework. How crap is that? I’d upload it so you could all read it but I’m afraid the internet doesn’t have enough space. Ah well.
Yesterday was the second time in a year that school has been closed for boiler problems. I was relieved that I now had more time for my drama coursework, and then spent it all down Linear. I didn’t have much time to do coursework after Linear either as I had a dance lesson, (we started the quick step) but I managed to finish it anyway.
On Wednesday, I returned from school very tired so I decided to have a quick rest on my bed. I must have stretched out a tad too much because I realised later in the evening that I had ripped my school trousers in the crotchal region. Thursday morning I decided to walk over to my mum’s house in my school trousers (as it was the easiest way to transfer the clothing) so I walked the mile to the other end of Bingham with a whole in my trousers. I changed into my jeans and forgot all about the trousers, which meant that today I woke up to holey-trousers.
I walked into school and remembered that I was helping Mrs Marchant with an assembly. I would be taking part in a role-play of Cilla Black’s Blind Date. This meant that I would be sitting in front of 250 year 8s. So I spent the first 15 minutes of the school day with my legs pushed firmly together.
Since doing the assemblies I have had many small children shouting “I pick contesant number 3″ at me. Nice one geniuses.
This morning in ICT I was printing drama coursework (which took all lesson) and missed much of the raging argument that took place on Dave’s blog. Everyone was commenting on Dave’s blog and arguing with each other. It ended with people commenting under other people’s names. Very mature. Click here to read it.
When I returned home tonight I posted an entry on The Boom Box, a new mp3 blog that John has set up. He has been pestering me to post on it for ages, so I hope he is happy.
Click here to read it.
Speaking of awesome blogs to read, I just went on Jordan’s blog. He has recently had a hair cut at “Essensuals”. His entry on it is brilliant, very reminiscent of my own experiences and own entry. In fact, if blog entries were DVDs, then these two would be sold together as a bundle.
Click here to read my entry from last year.
Click here to read Jordan’s recent entry.
All this talk of haircuts has reminded me that I need one myself, maybe there is a sequel in the making?
Chao guys.
Google have set up a base in China, offering the new www.google.cn. The whole thing isn’t as great as it could be, but overall I feel it’s a good move forwards.
Read the article here and the follow-up here.
Google claim to be pressuring the US to stop trade with China due to censorship. I’m not sure what I think about that. Economically it seems quite dangerous but morally… I don’t know.
