I have found an amazing website with a David Blunkett Policy Maker.
It is a simple Flash animation that randomly generates Governmental Policies in the style of David Blunkett’s.
One example is:
“Pre-emptively convict Guardian readers, and then deny them the right to trial by jury. And charge them for it.“
Genius!
Today we were all kicked out of school after our RE exam, just in case we told any Year 10s what the questions were on (all were stupid and involved me writing about ‘Love thy neighbour’).
I invited G and Glyn back to my house, and G invited Daisy, and then Soph and Suz turned up. I went into my house and locked the door. That’s the kind of guy I am. A practical joker. A witty fucker.
Eventually, Soph, Suz and Daisy convinced me to let them in while Glyn and G were at the bottom of the garden.
G and Glyn realised that the girls were in the house and came to the door to bang on it and the suchlike in the hope that we would let them in.
We didn’t.
Then Suzi came up with the master plan, to kick them through the cat flap. Amazingly enough, they thought of a way of combatting this and grabbed her leg. It was so funny, I took some pictures.
I then passed the camera out of the window to G so he could take some pictures from his angle.
The two of them had made us all laugh and had made Suzi look like a complete dick, so they deserved to come in.
Here is the funniest Bush video ever.
Here is a brilliant movie of the evolution of dance
I’ve not finished the script to AEROBICS.
Some Preliminary Ideas were shown previously and many of them still remain. We performed it recently as part of our Drama exam and it went very well. We will be performing it again in the near future and I will try to get a copy of the video onto the internet. Until then, here is the script!
Today was my ICT exam. It was stupidly long. I finished the exam after 20 minutes and then had to wait 55 minutes until I could leave. It wasn’t just me either: halfway into the exam everyone had finished, everyone just staring at the teachers and invigilators hoping to be allowed out early. We weren’t. OCR has wasted an hour of my life.
However on the plus side, I did have time to write this delightful limerick:
I once had to sit a boring test,
It was a test I grew to detest,
I finished it quick
Was bored ’til I was sick,
Everyone says it was a pile of cest.
Good eh?
Callum came over today. He agreed to help me with ImageShack. I proved myself to be highly incompetent with both ImageShack and general forum use. I was trying to upload some images of some NiGHTS into Dreams plushies, which I had bought some years ago and am now planning on selling.
An hour after he arrived, when I had still not achieved my aim, I gave him my camera in an attempt at curing his boredom. Here are the results:
Just got this through the mail
“Soz 2 break da news, but looks lyk all of those warnings were real!
The use of msn n mail will cost money from summer 2006. If u send this message to 18 different pple from ur list ur lil msn icon will become blu n dat will make it free 4 u. If u dnt believe me go on (www.msn.com) n c it urself. Dnt foward this message, copy paste it so people will actually read it“
I’ve had this kind of thing before a few times but this one is the best. It’s written with the worst English I’ve ever seen. It’s ridiculously colloquial and best of all it links to a site that doesn’t mention anything about it on.
NICE!
Before the Day
A few weeks ago it was announced that our leaving day would be a non-uniform day and that many will be coming in fancy dress. I decided that a really cool thing to do would be to go to an Army Surplus store, buy some desert or snow combats and tie-dye them pink!
I told Callum and Smokey John about the idea and they told me that it was the stupidest thing they’d ever heard. So I decided not to.
I had no other ideas, so I made no plans to go in any costume at all. Many people asked me if I was going in costume and to all of them I replied no. Many seemed shocked, as if I was a definite for stupid costume-wearing.
It soon became evident that I had a duty to come to school looking completely ridiculous- I did after all want people to remember me as I am.
A previous (non costume) non-uniform day I had worn a T-Shirt with Plato and Aristotle on. Many people thought that the image was of God and Jesus… one person even went as far as to say that I was wearing it to impress the RE teacher! I was frequently asked if I was trying to be Jesus (I was also wearing sandals) to which I replied “No.”
This memory came flooding back to me. “Hey, wouldn’t it be ironic if I came to school dressed as Jesus? Hell yeah!”
I remembered that Dave Perry had a Jesus costume, so I texted him to ask if I could borrow it. He replied saying it was probably too big but he would check for me. I needed a back up plan, so I asked my mother if she had any ideas. She couldn’t think of anything, but my sister was in the room and over heard. She had a brilliant idea, there were Egyptian robes upstairs. Of course, how could I have forgotten the Egyptian robes that no household is complete without.
She darted upstairs and brought them down- they were perfect. I went over to my Dad’s house and did some maths coursework.
Costumes
The next morning I was woken by Soph ringing me to ask if I could buy her some champagne before the school. I told her that unfortunately I couldn’t because I was at my Dad’s and couldn’t really go to the shops in my costume. She asked me what I was coming as, I said it was secret.
I got dressed into a pair of jeans that I had cut up into shorts the night before, a t-shirt and the robes over the top. I was about to set off when Dad suggested that maybe I should put the robes on in school. I thought about the journey to school, about the annoying year 8s, and about the robes. I agreed.
I arrived at school and changed into my robes. Immediately I got funny looks. I went outside and people seemed to think it was very cool.
What really surprised me was how few people knew who I was. I wear a T-shirt with Plato and Aristotle on, people call me Jesus. I wear a Jesus-style robe and people ask me if I’m Moses, if I’m a Muslim. One person even asked me if I was trying to be a doctor!
I was very impressed with the other costumes, there were T-Birds and Pink Ladies from Grease, policewomen, soldiers and plenty of fairies.
Pete was very upset that so many people thought he was dressed as a cowboy. That morning he had made a conscious decision to not come to school dressed as a cowboy. This was the first time he’d ever done this, normally it had just been that he wouldn’t try to look like a cowboy, but if he does that’s ok. Today however, he had made an effort to not look like a cowboy, and no one had noticed.
The Assembly
The famous and long-awaited End of Year Assembly. It started with Mr Trimmingham (Assistant Head of Year 11) making a few points about the year group, which included making fun of the orangeness of some of the girls’ fake tans and some mildly homophobic jokes (which, as Pete pointed out later, is apparently appropriate). The speech ended with him ridiculing a group of 5 boys who had scived school to go fishing. He brought them up to the front and showed them a paddling pool. Inside were 9 plastic fishes, each one with a number from 1-9 on. The 5 boys had to fish out the numbers and the order in which they did them would be the order of the tutor set presentations.
For the next 3 hours we watched each tutor give a presentation about their tutor set. Mr Crabtree’s and Mrs McCluskey’s were brilliant, Crabber’s being based on the A Team and McCluskey’s on Crimewatch.
Stevo’s (Mr Stevens- my tutor) presentation compared every member of the tutor set to a character from EastEnders, FRIENDS or Coronation Street. I apparently share characteristics with Ross Geller.
The assembly ended with Holly Bloor (dressed as a policewoman) coming up to the front of the assembly, bending Mr Taylor (Head of Year 11) over and spanking him.
The BBQ, Butt Field and Coursework
The whole year then went to a BBQ, where the senior staff had prepared lots of food. We all ate, drank, chatted and signed year books. I didn’t see anyone crying, which was surprising. At around 1300 we were kicked off the school site, and we began to walk down to Butt Field. We stopped off at Co-op to buy some stuff (I bought a Twister!). We arrived at Butt Field and sat down for a short while. After a while we left to go back to school to do some maths coursework. I’m pleased to say that I completed all 4 pieces, and Glyn managed to get 2 done.
I walked home and killed time until going to Charlie’s party. Mum gave me a lift to Aslockton, where Callum then gave me a lift to Elston to Johnny G-Unit’s house. We hung around there for a few minutes, in which time I obtained a kiwi, and then set off for Charlie’s!
Charlie’s Party
When we arrived at Charlie’s it was clear that most people had been drinking for quite a long time. Sita was completely wasted, which she proved by repeatedly claiming to be sober. We drank a bit and mingled. There was a pond which we all jumped over. Jade told me that she loved me unconsciously… whatever that means. Then, Chris Mason, Glyn, Pete, Johnny G-Unit Dan Ellis, and myself all had a go on the magic bottle.
I started chatting to Sophie, who seemed slightly under the weather. Eventually she decided that she was getting tired so she popped off to bed. I saw Suzi walking outside and followed her to see where she was off to, she said she was meeting someone and that I should go back. So I did.
I went to speak to Jade who had also drank a bit too much. She also decided to go to bed. Myself and Sophie Bullock went into the bedroom to make sure the two girls were all right. Dan Ellis also came in and sat in the chair and fell asleep. Sophie Bullock left and I stayed chatting to Soph for ages. Eventually we both fell asleep, next to the sleeping Jade.
I woke up after the craziest dream and went off to see what everyone else was going. Adam and Han were on one sofa with Jedd and Sophie Noon on the other. Ollie Bradley had gone home and Becky Wall and G had disappeared. Suzi had returned and Charlie had become fairly tipsy. We all chatted about stuff until around 0140 when Charlie’s mum asked John (who had returned… obviously) to take everyone who was stopping at his back home.
Everyone who was planning to, except Chris and Ben Cotton who had both disappeared, set off for John’s.
We got back to the house and negotiated sleeping arrangements. I told John that any kindness in regards to bedding he gave me then would be repaid on Saturday night. As such, he let me sleep in his sister’s bed (his sister wasn’t there). Callum tried to have a double bed to himself, but it was decided that when people were on the floor sharing a sleeping bag downstairs that wouldn’t be too fair. Callum was not impressed.
List of People at Charlie’s
James Ashworth-McLintock (McAsh, Comeback-McAsh)
Ollie Bradley
Sophie Bullock
Dan Clifford
Ben Cotton
Charlie Crowson
Sophie Ellerby (Soph)
Dan Ellis (Cocker)
Pete Faulconbridge
Nick Gill
Suzi Gregg
John Gunstone (Johnny G-Unit, G, G-Unit)
Glyn Hanmer
Chris Mason
Tom McRobie
Sita Morar
Emma Newcombe
Adam Nicholson
Sophie Noon
Tom Reacher
Callum Robey
Hannah Rooke
Jedd Ryan
Jade Taylor
Becky Wall
Scott Wallington
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