Happy Blog Day - 8:59 pm - 31-08-2006
As is tradition on blog day, here are links to 5 different blogs I read:
Have a good (rest of the) day!
It has a point… - 11:33 pm - 26-08-2006
Someone posted a Myspace bulletin with this in. Myspace bulletins are rarely interesting so I feel it is only right to celebrate the exception to the rule:
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”. http://www.matthewsplace.org/
Question - 9:08 pm - 26-08-2006
What would you guys think of me starting vodcasting (that it making videos and uploading them here.) Basically I’d write a blog entry and then read it out using actions and whatnot.
Post your views…
Random Song - 7:47 pm - 18-08-2006
A few weeks ago Dave (Perry) asked me to write a song. I decided to give it a go. Here it is:
Welcome to a world full of poverty and greed
Where you can take what you want but can’t have what need
Everyone’s afraid of what they don’t know.
But you’re not as scared of it as it is of you.
The Christians and Muslims are all preaching love,
But the wackos in charge won’t keep the dove.
It’s true what they say about safety in numbers,
As long as they’re green,
On the cash machine screen.
There’s nothing they can do that isn’t done.
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
Nothing they can say but they all learn how to lie just fine.
Is it easy?
Is Love all I need?
You tell me.
You take the lead.
We’re created through happiness but born through pain.
We’re told what to do until we’re made tame.
Chores at home, exams at school.
I don’t want to be a doctor,
Let me be a fool.
“Shut up and listen, and do as you’re told.”
“And eat up your greens before they get cold”
I’ll be me, and you can be you.
Why make it complex when it’s so easy to do?
They tell me I’m white and they tell him he’s black.
They make us feel different.
They put the bomb on his back.
They make up the fashion and we politely obey.
We’re straight if they say so, if not then we’re gay.
We try to be different, and end up the same.
But it’s not our fault- “Myspace’s to blame”
They control religion,
And government too.
They rule education,
Decide what is true.
They give us our food,
Tell us where to sleep,
Tell us when to laugh,
When to smile, when to weep.
They’re all around us, but yet you ask “Who?”
I should have said, but I thought that you knew.
Should I be honest? Am I to be true?
What will you think when I say that they’re you?”
Post your opinions. It is my first attempt ever, mind.
Shower Experiences - 9:48 pm - 08-08-2006
A few weeks ago at John Gunstone’s house I experienced what I thought was the worst shower experience ever. Let me explain.
I was at John’s house (with Suzi, Alan and Megan Hatton) and wanted a shower. John kindly complied with my request and told me to go for it. I don’t normally like to have showers at other people’s houses because I’m afraid I might flood it or do something else silly.
To ensure that nothing bad befell me, I made John show me exactly how to work the shower. He sighed and walked upstairs with me. He opened the shower door and pointed to two different knobs. Both were for temperature (wha?). He told me not to touch one of them but to move the other to whatever temperature suited me. He pointed to the towels and left me to get undressed.
I managed to de-robe fairly successfully without any trouble. I put my clothes on a heap in the corner and got into the shower.
I withdrew the shower from it’s holder (on a vertical rail) and held it so that it pointed downwards. I turned the shower on (following John’s instructions perfectly) and found a suitable temperature. I then put the shower head back into it’s plastic armour. I tried to slide the nozzle up the rail to better suit my height. For some reason the nozzle refused to stay up. I analysed the shower head and discovered that it was broken. I began to plan my apology to John. Needless to say the by-product of my strict and rigorous analysis of the shower head’s mechanics was a powerful spray of water entering my eyes.
Without the vertical rail fulfilling its right and proper duty the dousing of my hair became trickier. I held the shower above my head and attempted to direct it at my hair. As many of you will know, my hand-eye coordination is not what it could be, so I received a large mouthful of water. I then left the shower at the bottom of (useless) vertical rail and began to shampoo my hair. The shampoo was mint flavour and was very pleasing to the nose. I then retrieved the shower-head and rinsed my locks. It was here I discovered that the shampoo was less pleasing to the eyes.
You know when you have a mint or something eucalyptus flavoured it sort of tickles your mouth and makes it feel almost… clean?
The feeling is better in your mouth than any other facial feature.
Anyway, by this point I was becoming increasingly wary of my bad luck, so after I put the conditioner in my hair I rinsed it out while squatting at the bottom of the shower (a funny sight, I am sure).
When I was completely clean I turned the shower off, opened the door and reached around for a towel. I did this because I didn’t want to make the floor wet by stepping out onto it.
So, I patiently dried myself in the confines of the shower enclosure and then stepped out onto the floor. The floor which I had taken care not to let any water go onto. The floor which was currently drenched.
It seems that the enclosure is not as waterproof as one would hope and expect from a structure designed solely to be waterproof.
I now noticed the inclination of the floor. I had assumed that the floor would all be on the same level. Alas, it was not. The whole floor slanted into one corner.
The corner where my clothes lay.
I know, you’re thinking “How horrendous for you McAsh! I cannot imagine an experience in the shower more horrific! You write really well!” Well yes, it was horrific, but believe it or not I have another yarn to spin about another shower-related experience which you may find as horrific, or even more horrific! (It’s true!)
Yesterday morning I awoke to a dismal morning at Canterbury University. I wandered into the bathroom and stepped into the shower.
Unfortunately, due to spacial problems regarding the packing of my luggage, I had not brought my shampoo nor conditioner with me.
The night before (Sunday, for those who aren’t paying attention) I arrived and noticed a transparent pack on my bed with two small bottles inside. Due to extreme relief and excitement I assumed they would be Shampoo and conditioner respectively, so it was to my dismay and utter disgust, that I discovered that one was shower gel and the other was a shampoo-conditioner combo.
A shampoo-conditioner combo.
You read right.
If someone’s reading this to you, you heard right.
This is quite simply the worst invention since torture. In fact, you may consider it a subset or torture. Or you might consider torture a subset of shampoo-conditioner. Regardless of your beliefs, I am sure you will understand my horror.
Anyway, back to Monday morning. I was in the shower, and I turned it onto temperature 5 (which I had been recommended). The temperature was fine.
I wish the same thing could be said for the pressure.
The spray was like a mist. A mist being fired from a cannon. I’d never heard of or experiences high-velocity mist but now I had. In fact, I have yet to experience this outside of that particular shower. This leads me to believe that it is a freak occurrence, divine intervention perhaps. I’ve never been a believer in any kind of God, maybe this was my punishment.
I should have (choose one: prayed for forgiveness/sacrificed a lamb/smoked some pot and listened to reggae) for things only got worse.
I had been warned that the drain was not very good, so I should turn the shower off while applying shower gel, shampoo or conditioner. I followed this advice and the water had time to drain.
But, and you knew there would be a but, when I turned the Mist-Machine back on the scatty shampoo-conditioner combo in my hair went into the scatty mist in the air, which then successfully went into my eyes.
With my eyes burning I reached my hand out of the shower to find my towel. It was not there. I strained my brain for its whereabouts. I remembered.
I dripped out of the shower and onto the floor. I trickled out of the bathroom onto my carpeted bedroom. I flowed across the room, and poured into my bag where I retrieved my towel.
Showers are shit.
Showers are shit.
Showers are shit.
Who needs hygiene?
Dave’s Party - 7:02 pm - 05-08-2006
Dave was originally going to have a party on Tuesday, but after I inivted him to two seperate parties for the Tuesday, he postponed to Thursday.
Wednesday night I receieved a text from John (Gunstone) inviting me to his party on Thursday too. So all through Thursday I was in mental turmoil as I tried to decide which party I’d go to. In the end I decided on Dave’s, as he had invited me first and I hadn’t seen that group of people in a while.
I rang Lauren to see when she was going. She said she’d be setting off in a few minutes. I asked her if she had managed to convince Amy Jutsum to come (she had said the night before that she would). She told me that she had tried but had not succeeded. I hung up and rang Amy. I asked her if she was going and she said she wasn’t sure. I told her about how amazing it would be and pointed out that we hadn’t seen each other in forever. Immediately she agreed and quickly hung up and rang Lauren.
“Hey Lauren, where are you?“
“In the car.“
“I want to come.“
“Mum, stop!“
And as if influenced by divine intervention, Lauren’s car stopped right outside Amy’s house, or so I am told.
I then rang Pete to find out when he was coming into Bingham. He said he’d be coming in on the train at 2015. I told him that I’d meet him at the station.
I left the house and walked towards the station and met Pete walking towards me. We walked together to Dave’s where the party was really kicking off.
Dave, Grace, Lauren, Amy and Sarah were in the “Sweat Pit” watching music television.
A moment or two later, Lloyd (Callum’s brother) came.
I decided to go into Bingham to buy some alcohol, I asked everyone if they’d like to go and everyone said they would except Dave. It was deemed unfair for everyone to leave Dave alone so Sarah and Llyod agreed to stay.
We went into Bingham to the brand-spanking-new Sainsburys (just opened that day!). I bought some Tiger beers which were pretty cool.
We then returned to Dave’s where Diego, Tom Moreland and Martin had arrived.
I then discovered that Abby and Natty were also coming. What’s more… they were outside trying to find Dave’s house.
Lloyd and I went outside and met the girls and brought them inside. When we returned everyone decided to go outside. We spent the rest of the night in the garden with a few of us occasionally disappearing to the end of the garden until Mikey and Simon arrived. I then went for a drive with them to Simon’s house so he could get changed, and then back to Dave’s. Not much happened at Dave’s after that, Simon gave me a lift home at about 0100.
I got in and fried some eggs and onions and grilled some bread for a lovely midnight feast.
Suzi’s Party - 3:39 pm - 01-08-2006
I was told about a week ago that Suzi was having a barbeque last Friday. She then texted me to say that it had been postponed to Sunday.
I was at my grandpa’s from 11 in the morning. At 1630 my Dad picked me up and going via Bingham (to change shoes) and Whatton (to pick up Pete) he dropped us off in Bottesford.
The two of us walked to Suzi’s house where most people had already arrived.
We both spent the majority of the first part with Callum and Alan, and then John (Gunstone) when he arrived.
It was absolutely pouring it down with rain, but yet the food came out very well (I had a nut cutlet, which was awesome).
After this there were a few dramas and lots of dancing.
Eventually everyone went home or to bed.
Summary of Sunday - 11:32 am - 01-08-2006
Sunday 30th July
1150 - Wake.
1300 - Get up.
1600 - Have breakfast.
1700 - Grandpa and Pat come around. We chat and eat olives.
1830 - Set off for the Staunton Arms.
1900 - Arrive at the Staunton Arms.
2030 - Return home.
2130 - Callum comes over.
2140 - Set off for Linear Walk.
2200 - Arrive at Linear Walk, where we meet Lauren and Dave (Perry) coincidentally.
2230 - Lauren and Dave go home.
2300 - We go back to my house.
2330 - Callum goes home.
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