This weekend has been pretty darn crazy. Camilla came down again, after having been home for only a week and a day since being here last time. She arrived at 6ish on Friday.
Getting Ready
The first bit of the night is fairly boring so I shall do it in note form.
Camilla arrived.
We put pizzas in the oven.
Callum arrived.
We took the pizzas out.
Pete arrived.
We ate the pizzas.
I almost set the whole house on fire by throwing matches around the house.
We set of for Glyn’s house.
I picked up a sausage and chips for Glyn.
Pete bought booze for Callum and himself.
We arrived at Glyn’s.
Glyn tied his boom box to the back of his bike.
We left Glyn’s house, Glyn, Camilla, Pete, Callum and I.
It started raining.
Camilla tied her scarf around her head.
Pete tied a bandana around his head.
McAsh took photos.
We arrived at Cropwell Bishop.
We found Travis’ house.
We left our bikes there.
We walked to Cropwell Bishop Memorial Hall.
Martyn Winn and Oscar Partridge drove past us and asked where we were going.
They came with us.
We arrived at the party.
Settling In
We arrived and immediately Rebs ran up to me to give her greeting. I told her I had brought Pete, Glyn, Callum and Camilla and she only appeared to recognise Glyn. I told her that all four had been at Travis’ new year’s eve party and then she suddenly remembered them all.
Oh I do love forced politeness.
Being the sociable people we are, we went and sat in the corner with all the other people from Toot Hill.
Immediately we became aware of a problem: there was a bar and thus drinking one’s own alcohol would be frowned upon. Tom (Moreland) passed me an empty glass and I stealthily poured a beer into it.
We sat around for a bit before someone had the great idea of going into people’s pockets and moving their things into other people’s pocket’s.
Eventually I hit the point of intoxication when moving to the dance floor seemed like a good idea.
The Dance-Floor
I pranced/danced (depends on how optimistic you are) around for a while on the dance floor. Glyn came up to a small group of us and demanded a hug from each of us in turn to celebrate his birthday. I then told him to do the same with two girls near us, I didn’t know one of them but the other was called Sarah and was at Travis’ new year’s party.
The other girl just disappeared but Sarah agreed. I explained to her that it wasn’t my birthday, but that I’d still like a hug. She complied.
I then chatted to her for a bit before disappearing to find another beer.
The Quest for Alcohol
It wasn’t long before both Callum and I were nearing the end of our beer supply.
Luckily, we had a plan.
We figured that as most of the guests were girls from the High School (the most prestigious private school in Nottingham) they might be willing to buy us drinks. Afterall, we are both young, charming and attractive.
I found Genni (Phil’s girlfriend) and asked her to point me towards some girls who might fulfill the criteria.
Genni: No one will buy you a drink, because you have stupid hair.
Well, that was nice of her, and completely disheartening. I decided not to even try getting a drink off one of the girls.
However, luck was on my side: Nick Gammon came up to me and initiated conversation:
Nick: Are you having a good night?
McAsh: Yeah thanks, are you?
Nick: Yeah I am. Are you drunk?
McAsh: Not really no.
Nick: Well get drunk then!
McAsh: Are you drunk then?
Nick: Yeah!
McAsh: Well in that case, you can afford to buy me a drink.
Nick: Sure mate, what do you want?
What a lovely boy =D
Girls Like Guys With Mops
I was on the dance floor with Callum when I noticed Sarah was getting with some guy. “Skank,” I thought “I wanted to get with her”. Then I noticed that most of the Toot Hill kids were on the stage so I darted up there. I danced on a bench with Tom for a bit before jumping off the stage to go to the toilet.
Upon returning to the stage entrance I noticed a selection of mops. They were calling out to me, so I answered their call and picked one up.
I was immediately back on the stage dancing with the mop. Becky Wall tried to remove it, thinking I would break something. I refused to hand it over.
The head came off the handle.
Ah well.
I jumped down to the dance floor and started dancing around with it there. Someone gestured for me to pass it to her, so I did. I then decided to go get a second mop.
The head fell off immediately.
Ah well.
It only took me 10 seconds to get it, but by the time I was back the original mop was with Phil. The girl clearly didn’t know how to dance with a mop.
Next thing I knew I was dancing with Sarah.
And the next thing I knew I was kissing Sarah.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. For some reason I thought it was Callum. “Mate, can’t you see I’m a bit busy at the moment,” I thought. Then the person physically separated us. I looked up and it wasn’t Callum at all, but the guy Sarah was getting with earlier.
McAsh: Hallo.
Guy: What do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?
McAsh can’t hear him over the music
McAsh: Sorry, what?
Guy: That’s my girlfriend.
It dawns on McAsh
McAsh: What? Are you two going out?!
McAsh decides that if anyone is to try and fight him, he will pretend to pass out.
Guy: Yes.
McAsh turns to Sarah
McAsh: Skank!
McAsh turns back to the angry looking guy
McAsh: I’m really sorry mate, I didn’t know.
Guy: I’ll let you off this time.
And with one final uttering of “Skank” to the giggling girl I left.
I thought it was interesting that he said he’d let me off this time. Was he used to this happening?
Anyway, the most important part of this story is that I only got with her because I was dancing with a mop.
Maybe that’s what girls look for in a guy? A mop handle and some sick moves involving it…
Get back to me about that ladies.
Accusations
I was in the toilet when Callum told me that “some girl” was looking for me. I was relieved that it wasn’t “some angry guy” so I followed him to where she was.
When I arrived, the girl just flat out said:
Girl: Have you taken ten pounds out of my bag?
I was amazed. I think by the look on my face alone she could tell that I definitely did not take it, so she began apologising.
McAsh: I’m so confused. What made you think it was me?
Then someone, I cannot remember whether it was the same girl or not, said “Your hair.”
What is wrong with my hair?
Cold and Wet
I went outside to see Trav throwing up. Then Glyn came up and told me how wasted he was. They decided that it’d be a good idea to look after each other as they were both plastered. For some reason it also seemed like a good idea to them to go to the bus stop.
Glyn got fed up of being in the bus stop and decided to walk home. Bare in mind that we were a fair few miles away.
Myself and Camilla chased him to try and stop him. Callum rang to say the party was over and to ask where we were. I told him and he said he’d find us.
It started raining.
The next bit was horrible and words cannot explain it, so let’s skip to 3 hours later. Glyn, Camilla and I are in a taxi whose driver is threatening to throw us out. Both Camilla and Glyn are out of it. Callum has already cycled home. We are sodden.
We got back to my house and Glyn threw up some more (that’s right “some more”, just a hint as to the events of the missing three hours) into my kitchen sink.
We went into my room and I put a mattress out for Glyn. Both Camilla and Glyn collapsed onto it. Glyn threw up on my carpet and then I switched the light off.
I had to switch it on again when I realised he was now throwing up onto the bed.
The Morning
At 6 in the morning Glyn woke up and said he was going home. I was too tired to do anything so I left him to it.
Camilla and I woke at 10 and went downstairs and saw Glyn’s shoes. The door was locked. So he must have been in the house somewhere.
We looked all over the downstairs before going upstairs. I went into my sister’s room and my mum was in the bed.
McAsh: Why are you in here?
Mum: Well, at about 6 this morning someone came into my room and muttered an apology, then left and went to the bathroom. He then came back into the room and clambered into my bed. I realised it was Glyn so I got out and came her.
McAsh: LOLOLOLOLOL
Needless to say, Glyn was very embarrassed and apologetic when he heard what he’d done.
