Using my amazing programming skills, I have set up a Virtual Lynx Clicker. I have created a minute button, connected to a constant wireless internet connection, which when pressed increases a variable in my internet database which will change this image. So therefore everytime I press the button, the number on the image will increase by one.
Anyone who has seen the advert will know what’s coming next.
Everytime a girl gives me the look I will press the button once and the number will go up.
Let’s see how high this number soars!
The Album
NG13 have just released their new album “Linear at 420″ (pictured above). Everyone at McAsh’s blog agrees that this album is a promising beginning for the Nottinghamshite-based group. The sound is a unique combination of jazz, blues, techno, acidhouse, country, gangster rap, emo, metal, world and rock. This does sound off-putting but the result is surprisingly pleasing. The lyrics are profoundly deep about the subjects they discuss. Examples include:
“Strawberry laces, I think of them every day,
Strawberry laces, Why did you throw them away?”
“I was an eye and I became a head,
I thought I’d do better and became a toe,
I should have believed what was said,
No more gambling, now I know.”
Overall the album is a must have.
The Tracklist
1. Twister
2. Fruit Machine
3. Starsky and Hutch
4. My Sunglasses (They Make Me Cool)
5. The Bridge
6. Quit While You’re Ahead (Or You’ll Become a Toe!)
7. The Wind Spitting
8. Strawberry Laces
9. On Top of The World
10. Don’t Take My Innocence
11. The Sky
12. Approaching Weather
13. Honking Breasts
14. Why I Love Caramel Donuts
15. Baba O Riley The Who cover
16. Twister (reprise)
17. Sannie Attack (Bonus Track) Hidden Element cover
The Band
NG13 are a relatively unknown new band from Nottinghamshite. The members include Lieutenant Foxworthy, Fonz, Mr Fun and Shorts but their manager Mr Spank Spank has also made artistic contributions towards the album.
The band spend most of their time playing Super Smash Bros. Melee.
Linear at 420 will be available at all fictional music stores from 20th of April 2006.
The jacket that I got yesterday has been ripped on a door handle. I suppose I should just accept that I’m better off without it: it was clearly flimsy. But I loved it.
I loved the way it made me feel. When I had it on, I felt loved.
I loved the way other men looked at me, full of envy.
I can’t say I’m coping with it too well. I feel like I could break down at any moment.
My sister made a joke about it. I couldn’t believe it. She knows I’m going through a hard time at the moment and the last thing I need is her laughing at me because of my jacket.
I’m so tempted to return to the Clotheshow, where I bought it, but I must restrain myself. If I go there I’ll end up going inside and I can’t do that.
At least no one else has got a new jacket recently. I’d hate to be the only one who hasn’t got a new jacket.
I just thought I’d tell you about how crap I feel. I’m going to go in the shower now and whittle a statue of Abraham Lincoln.
Tomorrow I think I will get a replacement jacket I think. I know one that looks nice, I think it has an owner though. Maybe I can have it for a night… he won’t know.
I was on msn yesterday and I noticed a display picture of this girl I never talk to (she talks to me though). It was a picture designed to look like a notebook with the words “Dear heart, today I met a boy, prepare to shatter. xx” scribbled on with a female handwriting.
I became very jealous of this girl: her with a brilliantly touching phrase on her display picture and me with a picture of Elvis drawn by Jimi Hendrix. I realised that what the internet didn’t have enough of was datebases of display pictures that any loser can download and use. So I thought I’d fix that and make this:
I was going to make a few but I got bored…
I made this display picture ages ago… at first everyone used it but then they went back to using the front cover of Funeral for a Friend albums. Sarah still uses it though. That makes her infinitly cooler than everyone else.
I just realised that my blog didn’t have any pictures of Dave’s cat that look as though they’ve been drawn by a three year old with no arms. So I searched my PC and found this:
Enjoy
