This weekend has been pretty darn crazy. Camilla came down again, after having been home for only a week and a day since being here last time. She arrived at 6ish on Friday.
Getting Ready
The first bit of the night is fairly boring so I shall do it in note form.
Camilla arrived.
We put pizzas in the oven.
Callum arrived.
We took the pizzas out.
Pete arrived.
We ate the pizzas.
I almost set the whole house on fire by throwing matches around the house.
We set of for Glyn’s house.
I picked up a sausage and chips for Glyn.
Pete bought booze for Callum and himself.
We arrived at Glyn’s.
Glyn tied his boom box to the back of his bike.
We left Glyn’s house, Glyn, Camilla, Pete, Callum and I.
It started raining.
Camilla tied her scarf around her head.
Pete tied a bandana around his head.
McAsh took photos.
We arrived at Cropwell Bishop.
We found Travis’ house.
We left our bikes there.
We walked to Cropwell Bishop Memorial Hall.
Martyn Winn and Oscar Partridge drove past us and asked where we were going.
They came with us.
We arrived at the party.
Settling In
We arrived and immediately Rebs ran up to me to give her greeting. I told her I had brought Pete, Glyn, Callum and Camilla and she only appeared to recognise Glyn. I told her that all four had been at Travis’ new year’s eve party and then she suddenly remembered them all.
Oh I do love forced politeness.
Being the sociable people we are, we went and sat in the corner with all the other people from Toot Hill.
Immediately we became aware of a problem: there was a bar and thus drinking one’s own alcohol would be frowned upon. Tom (Moreland) passed me an empty glass and I stealthily poured a beer into it.
We sat around for a bit before someone had the great idea of going into people’s pockets and moving their things into other people’s pocket’s.
Eventually I hit the point of intoxication when moving to the dance floor seemed like a good idea.
The Dance-Floor
I pranced/danced (depends on how optimistic you are) around for a while on the dance floor. Glyn came up to a small group of us and demanded a hug from each of us in turn to celebrate his birthday. I then told him to do the same with two girls near us, I didn’t know one of them but the other was called Sarah and was at Travis’ new year’s party.
The other girl just disappeared but Sarah agreed. I explained to her that it wasn’t my birthday, but that I’d still like a hug. She complied.
I then chatted to her for a bit before disappearing to find another beer.
The Quest for Alcohol
It wasn’t long before both Callum and I were nearing the end of our beer supply.
Luckily, we had a plan.
We figured that as most of the guests were girls from the High School (the most prestigious private school in Nottingham) they might be willing to buy us drinks. Afterall, we are both young, charming and attractive.
I found Genni (Phil’s girlfriend) and asked her to point me towards some girls who might fulfill the criteria.
Genni: No one will buy you a drink, because you have stupid hair.
Well, that was nice of her, and completely disheartening. I decided not to even try getting a drink off one of the girls.
However, luck was on my side: Nick Gammon came up to me and initiated conversation:
Nick: Are you having a good night?
McAsh: Yeah thanks, are you?
Nick: Yeah I am. Are you drunk?
McAsh: Not really no.
Nick: Well get drunk then!
McAsh: Are you drunk then?
Nick: Yeah!
McAsh: Well in that case, you can afford to buy me a drink.
Nick: Sure mate, what do you want?
What a lovely boy =D
Girls Like Guys With Mops
I was on the dance floor with Callum when I noticed Sarah was getting with some guy. “Skank,” I thought “I wanted to get with her”. Then I noticed that most of the Toot Hill kids were on the stage so I darted up there. I danced on a bench with Tom for a bit before jumping off the stage to go to the toilet.
Upon returning to the stage entrance I noticed a selection of mops. They were calling out to me, so I answered their call and picked one up.
I was immediately back on the stage dancing with the mop. Becky Wall tried to remove it, thinking I would break something. I refused to hand it over.
The head came off the handle.
Ah well.
I jumped down to the dance floor and started dancing around with it there. Someone gestured for me to pass it to her, so I did. I then decided to go get a second mop.
The head fell off immediately.
Ah well.
It only took me 10 seconds to get it, but by the time I was back the original mop was with Phil. The girl clearly didn’t know how to dance with a mop.
Next thing I knew I was dancing with Sarah.
And the next thing I knew I was kissing Sarah.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. For some reason I thought it was Callum. “Mate, can’t you see I’m a bit busy at the moment,” I thought. Then the person physically separated us. I looked up and it wasn’t Callum at all, but the guy Sarah was getting with earlier.
McAsh: Hallo.
Guy: What do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?
McAsh can’t hear him over the music
McAsh: Sorry, what?
Guy: That’s my girlfriend.
It dawns on McAsh
McAsh: What? Are you two going out?!
McAsh decides that if anyone is to try and fight him, he will pretend to pass out.
Guy: Yes.
McAsh turns to Sarah
McAsh: Skank!
McAsh turns back to the angry looking guy
McAsh: I’m really sorry mate, I didn’t know.
Guy: I’ll let you off this time.
And with one final uttering of “Skank” to the giggling girl I left.
I thought it was interesting that he said he’d let me off this time. Was he used to this happening?
Anyway, the most important part of this story is that I only got with her because I was dancing with a mop.
Maybe that’s what girls look for in a guy? A mop handle and some sick moves involving it…
Get back to me about that ladies.
Accusations
I was in the toilet when Callum told me that “some girl” was looking for me. I was relieved that it wasn’t “some angry guy” so I followed him to where she was.
When I arrived, the girl just flat out said:
Girl: Have you taken ten pounds out of my bag?
I was amazed. I think by the look on my face alone she could tell that I definitely did not take it, so she began apologising.
McAsh: I’m so confused. What made you think it was me?
Then someone, I cannot remember whether it was the same girl or not, said “Your hair.”
What is wrong with my hair?
Cold and Wet
I went outside to see Trav throwing up. Then Glyn came up and told me how wasted he was. They decided that it’d be a good idea to look after each other as they were both plastered. For some reason it also seemed like a good idea to them to go to the bus stop.
Glyn got fed up of being in the bus stop and decided to walk home. Bare in mind that we were a fair few miles away.
Myself and Camilla chased him to try and stop him. Callum rang to say the party was over and to ask where we were. I told him and he said he’d find us.
It started raining.
The next bit was horrible and words cannot explain it, so let’s skip to 3 hours later. Glyn, Camilla and I are in a taxi whose driver is threatening to throw us out. Both Camilla and Glyn are out of it. Callum has already cycled home. We are sodden.
We got back to my house and Glyn threw up some more (that’s right “some more”, just a hint as to the events of the missing three hours) into my kitchen sink.
We went into my room and I put a mattress out for Glyn. Both Camilla and Glyn collapsed onto it. Glyn threw up on my carpet and then I switched the light off.
I had to switch it on again when I realised he was now throwing up onto the bed.
The Morning
At 6 in the morning Glyn woke up and said he was going home. I was too tired to do anything so I left him to it.
Camilla and I woke at 10 and went downstairs and saw Glyn’s shoes. The door was locked. So he must have been in the house somewhere.
We looked all over the downstairs before going upstairs. I went into my sister’s room and my mum was in the bed.
McAsh: Why are you in here?
Mum: Well, at about 6 this morning someone came into my room and muttered an apology, then left and went to the bathroom. He then came back into the room and clambered into my bed. I realised it was Glyn so I got out and came her.
McAsh: LOLOLOLOLOL
Needless to say, Glyn was very embarrassed and apologetic when he heard what he’d done.
Right, well last Friday was Kate’s party, and it was a pretty mint night.
The Journey
Callum arrived at my house to park his ped. At the time, I had a hairband in my hair as my sister had decided it’d be fun to play with it. I looked a tad ridiculous but he didn’t mind. What a good friend.
My sister had misplaced her keys so we all (John had arrived by this point) had to wait for her to be ready before we could leave and lock the door after us. She took a ridiculous time doing it, but I didn’t want to complain as she had done me a favour in wrapping up a book for John Fenton and tied a ribbon around a WKD bottle to give to Kate.
Eventually we left and were shortly on the bus to town.
Arriving in town, we first went to Virgin because both John and Callum wanted to buy the Super Mario Brothers film. Why, I cannot say.
We then went to WILD so John could be a dark green jumper. The only one there was too big around his elbows so we set off for the Horn in Hand.
At this point I feel I should mention that the Horn in Hand do a fantastic deal of a pint of beer, a burger and some chips all for £2.95. Now, I cannot stress enough how much I had been looking forward to this all week, so I must say it did hit me rather hard when we saw how full the bar was. We left dejected.
We now didn’t know what to do, where to go, who to see. We contemplated it for what seemed like ages before coming up with it.
It was obvious.
It was surprising we hadn’t thought of it earlier.
We went to the Cinema Store!
We looked at a special Alfred Hitchcock version of Cluedo. And various Star Wars action figures. And a packet of Casino Royale playing cards. And a signed photo of Willow from Buffy.
It was amazing.
We shortly left.
We wandered around for a bit longer before finally deciding where to go: The Malt Cross.
We went in, sat down, and looked at the menus. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to eat and would only get a pint each. We were all underage, and I was the only one with any form of ID so I went up to the bar.
Barman: What can I get you?
McAsh: Three pints of Grolsh please.
Barman: Do you have any forms of ID?
McAsh: Yes!
McAsh shows ID of Adam Schmitt, who incidentally looks nothing like him
Barman: OK, what did you want?
McAsh: Three pints of Grolsh please
Barman disappears for a minute then reappears with a pint of Grolsh
Barman: That’s £2.80 please.
McAsh: Could I have three please?
Barman: Uh, do your friends have ID?
McAsh: I’ll just go check
McAsh pretends to ask John and Callum for ID and then returns
McAsh: No, ‘fraid not.
Barman: Are they
Barman realises how stupid it would be to ask if they’re 18 and then says…
Barman: I’m afraid I can’t serve them.
McAsh: Oh ok.
Barman: £2.80 please.
McAsh pays and waits for change
Young Boy at Bar: They wouldn’t come to a pub if they weren’t 18.
McAsh: I wouldn’t hang out with them if they weren’t 18.
Barman returns with change and McAsh goes back to table
McAsh: He wouldn’t give me three.
John: Well why did you get one then?
McAsh: Dunno
McAsh sips his beer
Callum: This is fun.
McAsh: I think it’s quite funny really.
John: Give me some of that beer!
John gulps some beer, a woman working at the bar walks over
Waitress: Are you both 18?
John: Yes.
Waitress: Do you have any ID?
John: No. That’s why we didn’t get served.
Waitress giggles
Waitress: Well, after 6 we close the area for under 18s, that’s in 15 minutes.
John: We’ll be gone by then.
Waitress leaves
I found it quite amusing that they had just been told to leave, they unfortunately did not.
John then got a call from Emoly (Kate’s friend) saying she wanted us to meet her in town. So we went to the Vicky Centre and there she was.
Nothing of interest happened for a while. We boarded the bus after about half an hour Callum started playing on his DS and John started playing on Callum’s phone.
It was great.
Then Jim boarded with a group of girls we did not know and a boy called Peter (they were also party guests it seemed). Some of the girls sat near us but some clearly didn’t like us much so they sat on their own at the front.
I sat mainly in silence until the end of the bus journey, occasionally inputting some stupid remark into the ongoing conversation.
When we were in Mansfield John shouted that we should get off because this was the closest you can get to Kate’s house. Jim, who has been to Kate’s how considerably more than John, disagreed but we for some reason we got off the bus.
We began walking.
We walked some more.
Still walking.
About 10 minutes after getting off the bus Jim said “Here’s the stop I thought we should get off at.”
John lost a part of my friendship.
We kept walking for a while before turning right onto a less busy road, which winded up a hill.
We began walking.
We walked some more.
I imagine you get the gist.
Anyway, it wasn’t long before we arrived at Kate’s (well, it was but still…) and thus the party began.
First Impressions
I went into the kitchen, and retrieved the for-mentioned WKD bottle, with ribbon still attached, from my bag. I thrust it at Kate and said “This is for letting us all get wasted at your house.”
She seemed fairly grateful for all the work that I (well, my sister) had put in.
I looked around the room to see if there was anyone there who wasn’t on the bus. There was!
Dodds was there.
And so was Kate’s mum.
In some ways I wish I could have seen her facial expression when I thanked her daughter for “letting us get wasted” at her house, but she was facing away.
I quietly left the room to put my stuff upstairs.
When I got back downstairs Kate’s mum had migrated to the living room. I asked Kate to go in with me so I could say “Hi”. Here is the official stage adaption of the said conversation:
Kate: Mum, McAsh wants to say Hi.
McAsh: Hi
Kate disappears for some unknown reason, leaving McAsh alone with her parents
Kate’s Mum: Hi!
McAsh: Well… I’ve said Hi now.
Kate’s Mum: Don’t worry, we’ll be going out soon
McAsh tries to work out what to say without sounding like he wants to get rid of them
McAsh: Good
Silence. McAsh turns to Kate’s Dad
McAsh: Hi
Kate’s Dad: Hi
More silence
McAsh: Right, well I’ll be off then.
Kate’s Parents: Bye!
McAsh leaves the room with the quiet satisfaction that he is a great conversationalist.
When I got back, a “gang” were about to leave to buy some alcohol. I gave Dodds a fiver and asked him politely to buy me some Fosters.
I rejoined the party and began mingling. Kate had made various different nibbles, all of which were lovely. One of the girls, Lilly, had brought a cake which she’d baked herself. It was very nice, but its appearance wasn’t great. Probably due to its journey. I told her I was impressed but I think she thought I was being sarcastic.
I spoke to various of the people I didn’t know and after each conversation I had the distinct feeling that I had made a complete dick out of myself and that I probably hadn’t made any friends.
I asked Emoly if she thought they hated me and she said that she did.
The “Gang” Return
It wasn’t long before the “gang” returned with all the booze. Callum and Joe (a friend of Kate’s) both had chips. I later discovered that Joe’s chips were in actual fact John’s and that he had been given them just before entering the house. All this stuff about chips seemed of little importance to me at the time but later that night I realised its importance.
I walked into the kitchen to see Kate shouting at Joe. “You can’t have any of the food I’ve cooked!” she screamed.
I thought nothing of it, and went into another room.
When I returned I saw Joe was eating a slice of pizza. Kate noticed too and started shouting at him. She then picked up a piece of the pizza and threw it at his head. Some of it went on the wall next to him, so she told him he had to clear it up.
I was mega-confused.
The Radio
After this the majority of the guests went into Kate’s room and chatted about various things. While I continued to make a fool out of myself up there, downstairs John and Callum were ringing up Radio 1.
I’m unsure of the exact details but both Callum and John rang up a few times and got through to the people. Then Callum was asked to go on air, and he didn’t want to, so he passed the phone to John. They thought John was called Callum. John chose to speak like a complete chav throughout the whole time he was on. When they asked him where he was from, he said Mansfield.
So how could he prove it was actually him?
How do we know it wasn’t a chav called Callum from Mansfield?
Well, I shall explain.
He was asked if he wanted to say Hi to anyone. At the time I was outside the door jumping up and down with excitement. So the first name that came to head was mine: McAsh.
And thus there is proof. Click here to hear the boy in action.
The Rest of the Party
Right, well a lot more stuff did happen but I’m getting bored of writing it and I imagine you’re betting bored of reading it.
So, to summarise:
There was an argument. I don’t think it’d be fair to say who between or why.
It was discovered that the reason for Kate throwing pizza at Joe was that he had bought chips when she had spent so much time cooking and she felt it was skank on her. John had pre-empted this and thus had given his to Joe.
In dancing to the Beatles, Kate managed to damage her ankle.
She also claims that when I hugged her my chest caught her nipple and caused it pain. Her remedy for this was to put a frozen pizza on it (I have photographic evidence).
Being the cool kid I am, I crashed out in Kate’s bed about half an hour before everyone else hit the hay. I was joined by Dodds and Kate. She kept us both up for ages by playing solitaire on her PDA, which created a lot of light.
Callum ended up in Kate’s room too as he couldn’t sleep because Emoly and John were making too much noise. Let’s hope they enjoyed themself enough to compensate for everyone else’s displeasure.
The next day, when I finally got up I had a lovely afternoon eating chips, pizza, veggie fingers and cake, while watching Malcolm in the Middle and the Family Guy movie.
It was lovely.
Epilogue
It turned out that Kate’s friends didn’t hate me, in fact they quite liked me. Which is great, as they all seemed really nice.
Kate found out that the chips belonged to John and was not happy.
Click here to view the photos!
Dave was originally going to have a party on Tuesday, but after I inivted him to two seperate parties for the Tuesday, he postponed to Thursday.
Wednesday night I receieved a text from John (Gunstone) inviting me to his party on Thursday too. So all through Thursday I was in mental turmoil as I tried to decide which party I’d go to. In the end I decided on Dave’s, as he had invited me first and I hadn’t seen that group of people in a while.
I rang Lauren to see when she was going. She said she’d be setting off in a few minutes. I asked her if she had managed to convince Amy Jutsum to come (she had said the night before that she would). She told me that she had tried but had not succeeded. I hung up and rang Amy. I asked her if she was going and she said she wasn’t sure. I told her about how amazing it would be and pointed out that we hadn’t seen each other in forever. Immediately she agreed and quickly hung up and rang Lauren.
“Hey Lauren, where are you?“
“In the car.“
“I want to come.“
“Mum, stop!“
And as if influenced by divine intervention, Lauren’s car stopped right outside Amy’s house, or so I am told.
I then rang Pete to find out when he was coming into Bingham. He said he’d be coming in on the train at 2015. I told him that I’d meet him at the station.
I left the house and walked towards the station and met Pete walking towards me. We walked together to Dave’s where the party was really kicking off.
Dave, Grace, Lauren, Amy and Sarah were in the “Sweat Pit” watching music television.
A moment or two later, Lloyd (Callum’s brother) came.
I decided to go into Bingham to buy some alcohol, I asked everyone if they’d like to go and everyone said they would except Dave. It was deemed unfair for everyone to leave Dave alone so Sarah and Llyod agreed to stay.
We went into Bingham to the brand-spanking-new Sainsburys (just opened that day!). I bought some Tiger beers which were pretty cool.
We then returned to Dave’s where Diego, Tom Moreland and Martin had arrived.
I then discovered that Abby and Natty were also coming. What’s more… they were outside trying to find Dave’s house.
Lloyd and I went outside and met the girls and brought them inside. When we returned everyone decided to go outside. We spent the rest of the night in the garden with a few of us occasionally disappearing to the end of the garden until Mikey and Simon arrived. I then went for a drive with them to Simon’s house so he could get changed, and then back to Dave’s. Not much happened at Dave’s after that, Simon gave me a lift home at about 0100.
I got in and fried some eggs and onions and grilled some bread for a lovely midnight feast.
Click here to see the photos (taken by Lloyd)
I was told about a week ago that Suzi was having a barbeque last Friday. She then texted me to say that it had been postponed to Sunday.
I was at my grandpa’s from 11 in the morning. At 1630 my Dad picked me up and going via Bingham (to change shoes) and Whatton (to pick up Pete) he dropped us off in Bottesford.
The two of us walked to Suzi’s house where most people had already arrived.
We both spent the majority of the first part with Callum and Alan, and then John (Gunstone) when he arrived.
It was absolutely pouring it down with rain, but yet the food came out very well (I had a nut cutlet, which was awesome).
After this there were a few dramas and lots of dancing.
Eventually everyone went home or to bed.
Last Week - 4:09 pm - 30-07-2006
I’ve had a pretty good week.
Friday 21st July
Friday was Adam’s leaving gathering. Before going to that I was in school (as I had been all week) helping with one thing and another. I needed to pop into town to pick up some stuff, including a vegetarian cookbook, so I asked Pete, Glyn, Callum and John if they were interested in joining me. None of them were, Adam had already said he couldn’t make it so I was slightly concerned it’d just be me on my own (hardly enjoyable).
I asked Stacey and Nick if they’d like to. Stacey said she couldn’t but Nick said he would. After ensuring his sister got home safely, we set off.
I think this might have been the first time I’d ever hung out with Nick on his own (but far from the first time ever) and I really enjoyed it.
After getting back from town we wandered up to school to see what the evening event was like.
It was rubbish. Unfortunately due to waiting for different people I had to stay there for just over an hour. After that, Pete’s mum gave Pete, Sam and me a lift to Tithby for Adam’s gathering.
The event was brilliant. I spent most of my time with Adam and Sam; we went on walks through fields, talked at length about our philosophies (which seemed to be very similar to each others) and listened to some brilliant music.
At 4 o clock Nick, Stacey, Sam and I (the only people still there and awake) went to sleep.
People There
Adam Schmitt
Daniel Barker
Glyn Hanmer
Lauren Evett
Nick Harvey
Pete Faulconbridge
Sam English
Stacey Smart
Teresa Talbot
Click here to view the photos.
Saturday 22nd July
We awoke on Saturday at around 8ish. For one reason or another we didn’t get a taxi until after noon, so we spent a lot of time relaxing in Adam’s garden, house and caravan.
Sam spent hours playing with Adam’s siblings while Adam, Nick, Stacey and I chatted, listened to music and ate some of the brilliant food Adam had prepared.
Eventually it came time to leave, so we all wished Adam well for his trip to Germany and said good bye.
Sam, Stacey and I left the taxi in Bingham, and Nick continued to East Bridgford. In Bingham Stacey immediately went for her bus while Sam and I returned to my house.
I put a Jeeves and Wooster on and we watched that. Sam soon fell asleep and was out for about two hours.
I had heard the night before that Dave (Perry) would be having a gathering at his house tonight. I rang him up about this and he said he’d not heard anything about it, but that he would. Heather asked me what was going on and I told her that he said he’d be having a few people over. Unfortunately, simply due to a brake-down of communications, she took this to mean that she’d probably not be welcome. So she invited Martin Murphy, Freya and Lauren to her house instead.
I met up with Jordan and we wandered down to Dave’s. He had a completely free house, which could easily have held an awesome party had there been more people. Teresa had told me to ring her at work when I knew whether she would be welcome at Dave’s. I rang the Rice and Noodles and said “You’re very welcome.“
She replied, “Where?“
“At Dave’s!“
“Who’s Dave?”
I realised that I wasn’t talking to Teresa, so without saying another word I hung up.
Now too afraid to ring again, I passed the phone to Jordan. He redialed the number and asked to speak to Teresa. He put me onto her.
Teresa told me that her supervisor had answered the occasion before and had thought I was a pervert telling her to go to a random bloke called Dave’s house. She seemed highly amused.
I told her she was welcome at Dave’s and that we’d meet her at 10.
With that enjoyment gone we sat on the floor of his “sweat pit” and looked at videos of the legendary “Beardo the Weirdo” on Dave’s phone. Dave pretended to play a guitar that had no strings. Jordan drank two bottles of Kronenberg and I drank a bottle of ginger ale.
At ten to ten we set off for Teresa’s. Dave, having had too much fun for one night, decided to stay at home, so it was Jordan and I who met her alone.
I invited her to stop at my house and she said she’d like to so we walked all the way to her house to get her stuff. By the time we had returned to the center of Bingham, Jordan was quite bored and decided to go back to Brooke’s house. We parted our seperate ways.
At my house Teresa and I watched Dumbo and then the first two episodes of SPACED before retiring to bed.
Sunday 23rd July
I awoke at around 8 and lay in bed until Teresa awoke (only ten or so minutes later). I then put the 3rd episode of SPACED on. I closed my eyes and listened to it while resting my head on my pillow.
I opened my eyes a moment later and the 5th episode was on. We watched until the end of the series (7 episodes) and then went to make breakfast.
After breakfast Teresa went home.
In the afternoon Dave (Leggy) came over and kindly fixed my computer and then Callum and Pete joined us. We went out for a walk and bought some chips.
They all left in early evening and I was left on my own.
I decided to try out some recipes from my new vegetarian cook book. I made a honey, melon and white wine soup which turned out very nicely in my opinion.
Monday 24th July
Monday I didn’t get up until the afternoon. I didn’t really do anything until around 10 when I met Teresa at the Rice and Noodles. We went back to her house and made some stencils for grafitti. I didn’t have a kitchen at that time so I was really hungry. At around midnight my hunger got the better of my so we wandered down to the Shell garage so buy some food. I bought some Kettle Chips, Chocolate Hob Nobs and Tropicana.
We then parted our seperate ways and returned to our homes.
Tuesday 25th July
Tuesday I was up at the crack of dawn (around nine) in order to go to Derbyshire with my Grandma and her partner John, to meet some of my estranged relatives.
It took us a while to find where they were staying but we managed eventually. My Dad’s cousin was there along with her husband, children and her husband’s mother. I spoke to the children George (16) and Henry (14).
After that we all went out to lunch and a local pub which was very enjoyable.
We then returned back to their cottage and looked at various photos of our family. After that we set off home.
Upon arriving in Bingham I saw Teresa, Lauren and Brooke walking together. When I got home I rang Teresa to say I saw her and to ask when she wanted to do the stencils. She told me that they’d all call on me.
The four of us all went for a walk, we called on Dave (Perry) who said he’d ring us when he was coming out, we then went to Go Sing, the Chinese take-away, and bought some food.
We went back to my house to eat it. I had some of the soup I’d made a few days before and then ate my veggie pancake roll. Dave joined us and we decided to go for a walk again.
Throughout the whole day I had been wearing a sleeveless vest. Dave noticed this and didn’t like it, he claimed that I had found it in the bin and that I looked like a heroin addict. Look out for it in the photos.
We went to the Co-op and I bought a sandwich for myself and Brooke. Lauren needed to be picked up at Teresa’s so we all walked there. While at Teresa’s we finished her stencil and picked up all the stuff we’d need to grafitti.
We wandered down Linear and did it, before going home.
Click here to view the photos.
Wednesday 26th July
I did very little all day on Wednesday until around ten when I met Teresa at the Rice and Noodles (notice a pattern here?). We wandered up to Brooke’s house to call on her. The lights were all out so we decided against it, worried we might wake her baby brother.
We receieved a call from Lauren saying that she’d be coming out soon and Barker would be too. They did, and we sat at the park near Barker’s house and chatted about the weirdest things, including but not limited to: 10th Kingdom, nuclear war and the “good old days”.
We all walked Teresa home, and then Lauren and Barker walked me home.
Bed.
Thursday 27th July
Thursday, Pete came over in the early afternoon. We hung out at my house doing almost nothing before getting a bus to Whatton. There we made some more stencils and generally chilled out a bit.
I ate at Pete’s house. Pete’s parents had cooked (using delicious home-grown vegetable) and it was brilliant. After eating we caught a train back to Bingham.
In Bingham we called on Dave (Perry) and went down the Linear to do some more grafitti. This was much better than the stuff done on Tuesday. Unfortunately my camera wasn’t working so I was unable to photogrpah it (duh).
Friday 28th July
As usual, I did nothing Friday day-time. Pete came over in the early evening and we sat doing nothing. We then went out. I had to sign some forms at my Dad’s house but after that we went to town to get some food and whatnot and then returned into Bingham to hang out with Sam, Robin Ions, Barker and Lauren.
We spent some time on the park and then Robin left with some other people. At 11 Pete also left. After a while we went to Barker’s to download a song and make some food.
Judith got home and we chatted to her, before returning to our homes.
Saturday 29th July
I got up quite late on Saturday. My Dad had returned from holiday so I went to spend some time with him. At 8ish I left to meet Pete. We were going to meet Dave (Perry) and do some grafitti but he was too tired. Instead we watched a Jeeves and Wooster.
Prom - 12:26 pm - 28-06-2006
Last night was my prom, one of the most looked-forward-to night of the year. Here’s what happened:
Getting Ready
At around 5 o clock, I decided to head around to Glyn’s to get ready. I collected all my stuff together and set off. By the time I was at the Yeung Sing, I realised I had forgotten my outfit, so I had to walk back all the way home again.
I arrived at Glyn’s and waited for him to do his hair before we both popped over to Dave’s to pick something up. On the way back, Pete appeared in his car. He gave us a lift back to Glyn’s and he joined us.
At Glyn’s my mother and sister had arrived to see me in my outfit. Myself, Pete and Glyn went upstairs to get ready. It took me ages to get everything on. Wearing Highland Wear is a big effort. Here is my clothing inventory:
1 x Kilt
1 x Jacket
1 x Waist-coat
1 x Shirt
2 x Cufflinks
1 x Bow-tie
1 x Belt
1 x Sporan
2 x Sporan-Belt Connecter
2 x Socks
2 x Shoes
2 x Flashes
1 x Skean-Due
I finally finished getting ready and went downstairs for photos.
After a few photos we set off for the bus stop. We walked past a few limos speeding down the road, at £20 per person and felt pleased to know that we’d be spending £1 for our journey.
Getting There
When we got on the bus and asked for our child singles to town the bus driver gave us a dodgey look. For some reason he didn’t seem to believe us that we were in fact 15. Crazy.
When people got onto the bus they chose to sit next to people they didn’t know rather than sit near us. Maybe I was just being paranoid.
We got off the bus at Friar Lane and walked up to the Brittania. We all popped into the toilet before descending the stairs to meet everyone.
Getting Started
We stood around for about half an hour talking to people and congratulating people on how good they looked. I was amazed to see that absolutely everyone looked good. Not to seem harsh or anything but I did expect some people to look completely appalling.
A lot of people chose to point out that Martin Rose was also in a kilt. I was tempted to point out who else was in a suit or dress. I decided against it.
Finally we were allowed in to eat. The vegetarian option was really nice, but the chicken didn’t look appetising.
After dinner all the awards were announced. I cannot remember them all but here are a few:
Pete- Best Male Ass
John Gunstone- Most Genuine Male
Sophie- Female Most Likely to Be a Millionaire
Elliot- Male Most Likely to Be a Millionaire
After that myself, Pete, Glyn, Charlotte and G went out.
Getting Alcohol
We all left the hotel and Pete and Glyn went to Spar while Charlotte, G and myself went up the road so Charlotte could have a fag. After she’d finished they both went back in and I went to meet Glyn and Pete.
They were quite a way away, so I had to walk alone through Nottingham wearing a kilt. It was a new experience.
One bloke lifted my kilt up to see if I was wearing underwear, many bouncers glared at me and one drunken man shouted at me in a fake Scottish accent.
When I finally arrived at Spar I was very relieved.
The lovely people at Spar had asked Glyn for ID and he wasn’t keen on using his fake one, because they scan it.
We considered walking to a bar but decided against it. Instead we walked back to the hotel and swigged Spiced Rum in the toilets. Classy stuff.
Getting into the Swing of It
The next part of the night was split into getting water, dancing, mingling with people. Very little happened but it was very enjoyable. We heard that Ollie Marshall had been served with a Fake-ID so we went up to the bar and Glyn got a pint of Foster’s for each of us.
Glyn then went back to get another couple but this time he was not served. He told the barman that he was a teacher but he wasn’t believed. Then Miss Fitzgibbon started backing Glyn up, saying that he taught Law. He failed in getting any alcohol, but Miss bought him a pint with Matt Allcock’s money. Lucky for some…
Getting More Drunk
After a while we decided to have more Spiced Rum. We could no longer get into the toilets we were in before, but we did find a conference room. Glyn stood at the auditorium and made a speech. It was fairly incoherent.
We returned to see everyone else. Glyn took my camera and took an obscene number of pictures of himself with various people.
Getting Back
As the prom drew to a close we decided to go to the Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem. Unfortunately it was closed, so we headed back to the bus stop. I got really hungry so I went to Subway and bought a foot-long Veggie Delight with 3 oatmeal and raisin cookies.
The bus arrived and we all piled in. It was very very crowed. Judith borrowed my camera and took a few photos. Callum was playing his DS Lite.
We arrived back in Bingham and went to Honey’s. Little was going on at Honey’s and we were all quite tired so we left shortly after.
On the way back we came across a large group of people from our year hanging around outside Sophie Bullock’s house.
We sat down on the road and talked for a bit. Nothing of interest happened. So Glyn, Pete, G and I all went back to my house.
We got into bed at 2 and woke 12 hours later.
Click here to view the photos
The Secret Garden
Glyn organised a get-together at his house. Through some kind of mis-understanding many people thought it was a party and thus expected more than they received.
When I arrived the only people there were Glyn, John and Moreland. John excitedly told me about a Secret Garden. He made me follow him out of Glyn’s garden onto the main road. He took me to a house which was “For Sale“. It was a semi-detatched and the ajoining house was occupied.
We went into the back garden which was like a crazy jungle-maze. I have to admit that it was pretty cool but I was slightly nervous about the whole affair. We returned to the house.
Fallen Idle,Beer Towers and Outrageous Flirting
When we got back Pete had arrived and had let Jordan in, along with two of Glyn’s ex-girlfriend’s friends, Abby and Natty. After a short while SFFI arrived and dropped a copy of the Evening Post. In it was a review of Fallen Idle’s EP. It wasn’t flattering.
As Abby and Natty were the only girls there, manye people were accused of wanting them. It was pretty clear who did want one of them though. With his outrageous flirting, many people were commenting on it, much to his and her embarrassment.
While all this was happening, a tower of beer bottles and cans was being constructed. Check the photos to see it.
Abuse
Sam arrived and decided to abuse Abby and, to a lesser extent, Natty. He is surprisingly influential so a lot of other people joined him.
Moreland who was clearly quite drunk started rapping about Abby. One line that stood out was:
“Abby, she’s really shabby“
He also shouted at her in a very sarcastic tone that she was “a really cool person“.
Next Door
By around 12, the next door neighbour, Alan, got quite annoyed. He came out of the house and got quite angry, saying that he put up with it last week but he wouldn’t again.
Schmitt stood up and walked over to him and told him to watch his manners and that he needn’t be so aggressive. Schmitt told us all to go inside, and being the leader he is, he was obeyed.
Bingham
We then decided to go for a walk into Bingham to get some food. We left the house and one of us noticed a face in the window.
Glyn’s next door neighbour, Alan, was in the window of his house with all the lights off glaring at us. Everyone was in a mixed state of fear and hilarity.
SFFI, Mikey and Pete were playing football in the streets and Mikey managed to boot it into someone’s garden. They walked around precautiously while me and Sam shouted at them through the fence.
After that we decided to stop off at the Secret Garden as a few of us hadn’t seen it yet. In the dark the garden was much more frightening than before. We left eagerly.
We went into Bingham and got a Chinese take-away and then back to Glyn’s.
Homeward Bound
When we got back we heard that Moreland had thrown up on Glyn’s bed and had locked himself in the bathroom.
Natty was saying that Abby and herself had nowhere to stay. She asked me where I was staying. I said “My house.” She smiled at me expectedly. “You can too if you want” I said. She said she might. I was generally quite confused.
After a short time of photographing people and having to put up with Sam playing the guitar we set off home. Sam told the girls to follow us so we could take them to the Secret Garden to sleep.
The four of us left. For some unknown reason Abby and Natty stood outside Glyn’s house talking. We continued to walk to my house, they showed no sign of following. We turned the corner and they were out of sight, eventually they came around the corner and we could see them again, Sam pointed at the abandoned house and shouted “That’s the Secret Garden, have a good sleep“. We walked home
Epilogue
This morning when I rang John, I was informed that the girls were intending to sleep at my house and that they were a tad pissed off with me and Sam, claiming we were mean to them. Oh dear.
Click here to view the photos
Saturday I went to Heather’s BBQ/Party. The day was really enjoyable, but there isn’t much to say about it. There are however lots of nice photos.
Click here to view the photos
Glyn’s Gathering
Glyn’s family were away so he decided to have people over. It was really good fun, if somewhat uneventful.
Dave brought Jake and Kadim (may be spelt wrong) along and Glyn wasn’t impressed. I thought they were safe, but I’d met Jake before.
That’s all I can think of to say about it…
Click here to view the photos
Friday night’s events have been covered quite satisfactorily in Callum’s entry here so I don’t think I will bother. Instead, I will focus my attention on the events of yesterday.
Morning and Early Afternoon
I woke up at Pete’s house with no desire to go anywhere quickly. Then I got a phone call from Nicho telling me I had to be at the cinema in about 15 minutes for Sophie Bullock’s birthday event. Bearing in mind that I was in Whatton in the middle of nowhere we decided that this would be impossible.
Instead, I caught a bus into Bingham, fed the cat at my mother’s house, had a shower and caught a second bus into town. I texted Nicho to discover where everyone was, they were still in the cinema so I decided to have a look at a formal wear shop. We discussed student discounts. I got a call from Nicho saying that they were out so I left clutching their brochure.
I walked up to the cinema and while I waited for the green man to appear I glanced up at the huge glass building that contains the cinema. Everyone was there waving at me- which made me smile.
We decided to go to the Hard Rock Cafe… so we did.
The place was pretty meaty, with only 4 vegetarian dishes (only two of the salads were vegetarian), and quite expensive so I decided to have a side portion of chips and two glasses of tap water. This came to £1.95, which is damn good value for such an enjoyable experience. For some reason, when it came around to paying the bill both myself and Suzi (who ordered tap water and a salad) decided to give in a fiver. Don’t know why but whatever.
List of People there
Charlie Crowson, Ellerby, |Glyn|, Jade, Nicho, Sita, Sophie Bullock, Sophie Noon, Suzi,
Afternoon
John (Fenton) texted me to say that he was shopping for clothes for Jordan with Jordan, Brooke and Freya, and getting very bored doing so. I said that I would go and meet him. I departed from the group getting a prolonged hug from Ellerby and the general idea that Suzi thought I fancied John (which isn’t true).
I met up with John and we were walking towards the bus when I decided that I wanted some alcohol for the evening so we rang Jordan and didn’t get through. We tried Freya and she answered and said that Jordan would be willing to get me some and that we should meet him at the Broadway.
On the way to Broadway we saw two lesbians kissing. It then turned out that one of them was a boy. We laughed at him in his skinny jeans while he girlishly ran to Broadway. We arrived ourselves, greeted by Brooke, Freya, Jordan, and Kindell. I asked Jordan if he could buy me a six pack of beer and he agreed, telling me that he was charging £1 per item. I’m not sure what I think of this, in some ways I think it is perfectly acceptable charging for a service. However, on the other hand I wasn’t sure what I felt in regards to him making money out of his friends. Ah well, it’s his choice I guess.
Kate the Year 8 then appeared from nowhere and began talking to John. I walked over to them and asked John if he wanted to leave. While he answered me Kate began squeezing my leg. I said she was being a dog and then corrected myself to yorkshire terrier. I asked her when I was coming to her house for tea and it was arranged that I would go the following Saturday (21st January). John then pointed to the table that Kate had come from and sitting at it was the the lesbian-boy still clad with skinny jeans. John and I laughed at him and all her other friends for a while and then asked to be introduced to them. She declined. She then returned to her seat and pointed at us and said things to her friends. We beckoned her over and she came. We pointed out that we felt it was unfair that her other friends knew about us when we didn’t know about them. She had no good comeback for this but luckily for her, her friends appeared and dragger her off. I only just had enough time to say “Good afternoon young man” to one of them- what a cheek.
I left with John for the bus. I got distracted again. I decided I wanted to get some bakery products so we went to Dawson’s. I asked the girls there if it was ok if I paid in coppers and they said it would be fine. So we bought three donuts in a pounds worth of coppers. Awesome.
We finally arrived at the bus to see that Sophie (Ellerby) and Suzi were on it. What a pleasant surprise. They both wanted some of my donut so they disposed of their chewing gum and had a bite. The bus journey was enjoyably spent watching John threaten to punch Sophie and Sophie telling John that it wouldn’t hurt.
By the time we were arriving in Bingham, Suzi had realised that she would miss her bus to Bottesford. Sophie said that she couldn’t go to her house so I said that she could come to mine with John. She said that she would go to Sophie’s to get her stuff and then ring us.
Early Evening
When we arrived back at the house John decided he wanted to go on Heroes IV. The first problem we found was that the mouse was not working. We unplugged it and then replugged it.
Still nothing.
We restarted the computer.
The mouse worked.
The internet did not.
We unplugged and replugged the modem.
No luck.
We restarted the computer.
The screen stopped working.
And it didn’t sound like the computer was working.
John crawled under the desk and began unplugging and replugging all the wires there were. This didn’t do anything either. So we gave up and went upstairs to get some Paracetemol for John, who was by this point quite ill. While we were upstairs, John got a call from Jamie asking where he was. John asked me if Jamie could come over and I agreed.
We failed in our mission for Paracetemol so John went into the living room to relax in front of the TV while I went back to fix the computer. I turned the PC on and it worked immediately. So I fetched John and we went to play Heroes IV!
Unfortunately, for some reason 3D0 had chosen not to include mulitplayer mode in the CD version. So we spent an enjoyable half hour looking for the correct patches. We found a page that had a long list of patches for both the American and English version of the game. We downloaded all the necessary patches for the English version and popped onto Myspace for a laugh.
By looking at the wikipedia entry for Myspace and Country Populations we discovered that if Myspace were to be classified as a country it would be the 57th biggest population on the world with the highest concentration of emo fags.
My computer was going very slowly now so I closed down a few unnecessary programs, including Google Web Accelerater. Closing Web Accelerater also had the effect of stopping all my downloads. So we restarted them.
It was at this point that we realised that Suzi wasn’t coming over.
When the first patch had finally finished I opened it and an error popped up. I looked at the properties of the Heroes IV file and it told me that it was American.
I cancelled all the downloads and started again with the American versions. While we were waiting we went into the living room and watched Futurama.
After Futurama had finished we went back to the computer and opened the newly downloaded American patch.
It didn’t work, so we waited for Jamie to arrive and left for Bingham.
Co-op
Firstly we went to the Pizza Pasta Bar and I got a pizza. Then we went to the Co-op. On the way we saw a huge group of chavs. One of them shouted “Rob their Pizza,” so we walked briskly into the Co-op.
Lauren was there wasting her final few minutes of work-time tidying up the shelves by bringing items closer to the potential customers.
Martin was also there, having been kicked out of Dave’s while B.A.P. (Black and Proud) had a practise rap session.
By the time we we left the Co-op I had finished my pizza and the chavs had left.
Dave’s
We arrived at Dave’s and Lauren began drinking Red Rooster. When Jordan arrived I cracked open a beer. The night’s events included:
Rapping
Techno Dancing
Crisp Sculpting Contests
A very Hyper Lauren
List of People There
Brett, Brooke, Dave, Freya, Grace, Jamie, John, Jordan, Lauren, Martin, Pete, SFFI, Tom Moreland
The Cake Mission
At one point during the night, Jordan casually mentioned that he would like some cake. This made me want cake too. It was agreed that we would go on a cake mission.
And an hour later we got around to it.
The Co-op had closed long ago by this point so we went to Senior Pepper (Pizza place) for hot chocoloate fudge cake.
Jordan didn’t have time to get cake as his bus had arrived. I changed my mind about the cake so myself, Freya and Jamie ordered two portions of fries between us. Jamie was on the phone at this point, so Freya and I entertained ourselves by working out where north was while waiting for the chips.
We were interupted by John shouting at us from the Co-op that the bus was coming. I began to run, followed shortly by Freya. Jamie went to the pizza place to get the chips but we shouted at him that he would miss it.
The Journey to John’s via Lampost 8
The bus didn’t bother stopping for us so we had to jump onto the bus while it was moving like a proper cowboy. The bus didn’t bother to brake while going around corners so we got there quite quickly. Jamie was still on the phone, John was speaking to someone he knew and Freya was talking to Moreland so I sat quietly.
The bus stopped at the Royal Oak so we commenced our short walk to John’s. Jamie was still on the phone to his new girlfriend Laura and I asked her if she liked me. She did, so that was good.
Freya needed to get her stuff from her house which was past John’s. Moreland, Jamie and I didn’t want to walk there so we let John accompany her himself. We were next to a lampost which had the number 8 stuck onto it. We told them “We’ll meet you at Lampost 8. If you arrive at Lampost 7, you’ve gone too far.”
Moreland told us that the manor opposite us house the insane which excited us somewhat. He also told us that they had a trampoline. Jamie, being both a very brave rebel, ventured inside to have a go on it. I followed him, and Moreland followed me, and we sat on the swings for a few moments before I got scared and retreated back to Lampost 8.
We then noticed that the upstairs light had come on in a house nearby. There was a woman peeping around the curtain at us. We waved at her and she left.
The light went off but the person returned. She clearly didn’t think we could see her so we waved at her again.
She left again.
The light went back on and she returned.
So we waved.
And she left.
A few minutes later the security light went on. This was clearly an attempt to scare us off. But we held strong and protected Lampost 8.
Then a man came out and said we were being too loud. We apologised but remained at Lampost 8. He squinted at each of us in turn and then said “I’ve memorised your face now.”
We couldn’t work out exactly what he was going to do with the mental images of our faces- maybe draw them and send them in to America’s Most Wanted?
We decided that the best bet would be to retreat to Lampost 7. We stayed there for a short while, plucking up the courage to advance back to Lampost 8. We did, and John and Freya returned.
John’s House
We went into John’s house and ate lots of toast and then went to bed. In the morning there were plenty of other events to blog but this story had already taken 2154 words.
Next »
